I am four weeks into my first year as an elementary school teacher. I did everything possible (even without knowing it) to prepare for this moment. My second block of student teaching was spent in a 2/3 combo class. My first long term sub assignment was in a 3/4 combo class. My second long term sub position was in a 4/5 combo class at the school that I signed my contract with. Everything I did prepared me to teach in a multi-age classroom at Aveson. My experience and my attitude together should have been enough to get me through this first year of teaching without having to deal with ANY of the first year teacher blues that I have heard SO much about ever since I decided to get into this profession.
I was wrong.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING could have prepared me for this year. I'm not complaining... just stating the obvious fact. This job is HARD! I spent so much time resenting the teachers that complained about their jobs in the lunch room while I was substitute teaching. I used to think they were so lucky for having a job, and I thought if I was ever given the honor to have my own that I would NEVER complain, because I would just be so happy to have a job in the first place. Now I have one, and don't get me wrong... I feel VERY lucky! However, I am starting to realize a bit where these other teachers are coming from.
Some days I come home feeling like I was crazy for choosing this profession, and that I can't handle it... and other days I come home feeling extremely fulfilled because I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing; and yet still others I am just so tired that I don't even have time to think. Everyone keeps telling me that what I am feeling is "normal," but a big part of me knows that these types of up and down emotions shouldn't be normal. Luckily for me, I am currently feeling fulfilled :) Let's hope this keeps up! Week 5... BRING IT ON!
